there's paper in my vomit.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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