had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My ass is underappreciated
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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