remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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