i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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