And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
