Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
