We won't sleep together?
4 words: hood of his car
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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