Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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