my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
