i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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