you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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