I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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