My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
we should paint friendship bongs
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