Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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