I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
