Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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