How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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