"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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