I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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