Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
FUCK WHALES
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
