There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
