I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I enjoy the company of your penis
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
