didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
