I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
