I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
two words: eviction party
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
