You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Come share oat with me in your robe
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
