I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
