I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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