I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
