So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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