Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
