dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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