I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
