She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
