She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
