whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My penis needs a shock collar
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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