Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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