he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
