I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just want nice things and good sex
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
