worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
