There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
