Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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