im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
