Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
