Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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