did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
