i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
