the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
