Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
