She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
