Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
