I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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