He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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