its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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