He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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