i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
