one two three fourrrrnication!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
