in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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