I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
