My room smells like vodka and shame
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
